Author Archives: d4vid

Campanology

Posted on January 16, 2015 by d4vid

So, this is a thing.  (Found it fascinating as a student of all things bell.) “Taco Bell features a vast and eclectic menu, featuring a plethora of tacos, burritos, nachos, quesadillas, beverages, and other often delicious food items.” Bonus points for … Continue reading →

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Pronunciation

Posted on January 14, 2015 by d4vid

Things that have secretly delighted me to hear my Shanghainese cubicle neighbor Daly try to pronounce: Zach Galifianakis Prince Charles Grosse Point Blank

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Rain

Posted on January 14, 2015 by d4vid

It rained today.  The first time since I’ve been here. Despite my Shirley Manson attitude toward the rain, I’ve always hated how the tip of every rib of every umbrella hits me exactly at eye level.  But not here in … Continue reading →

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Propaganda

Posted on January 10, 2015 by d4vid

Last night, went to a North Korean restaurant.Knowing ourselves, Eli and I agreed that we would each pay Xiaohan 100RMB for any Team America references and 200RMB for any mentions of The Interview. The restaurant was nothing like what I … Continue reading →

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Heist

Posted on January 6, 2015 by d4vid

This is my closest market: Despite the dubious punctuation, I’m told it’s the Chinese equivalent of Whole Foods.  And, no, even here you can’t escape the “Whole Foods? More like whole paycheck” joke. City Super always has music playing that … Continue reading →

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Dumb

Posted on January 5, 2015 by d4vid

All that being said, I fucked up. Proving once again that I am neither “smart” nor “a computer guy”, I am currently in possession of two, expensive, Apple-brand doorstops.My theory was that I could just waltz into any Apple Store … Continue reading →

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Domicile

Posted on January 5, 2015 by d4vid

I was in a bit of a rush to pick an apartment because reasons. I checked out an order of magnitude fewer places than some of my coworkers did before picking one. I quickly opted for a serviced apartment in … Continue reading →

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Favorite

Posted on January 5, 2015 by d4vid

This is my favorite thing in all of Shanghai. Subway directions on the (low) ceiling.I pointed it out to a Shanghainese friend. She said she’d never noticed.

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Penicillin

Posted on January 4, 2015 by d4vid

We think they meant mushroom. Actually, we hope they meant mushroom.

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Foreplay

Posted on January 4, 2015 by d4vid

I know recycling isn’t part of foreplay but it is still very important. Here’s the recycling “center” at my apartment building.

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Sherpa

Posted on January 3, 2015 by d4vid

China never met a problem it couldn’t solve by throwing people at it.  There’s a service here called Sherpa’s where you go to their website, pick a Shanghai restaurant, order from their menu, and a daredevil scooter messenger brings the food … Continue reading →

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Polite

Posted on January 1, 2015 by d4vid

On the tray with my check at the noodle shop:More polite in English than in Chinese (which only has one “please.”)

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Mistakes

Posted on January 1, 2015 by d4vid

My mantra for China has been “make new mistakes.” Today, I tried cooking at my new place for the first time. Mushrooms, potatoes, and (expensive, because Asia) steak. Discovered — until my air shipment arrives Sunday — that I don’t … Continue reading →

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Humanity

Posted on December 31, 2014 by d4vid

Played Cards Against Humanity at the party last time. It was fun but took forever. You don’t realize how quintessentially American the game is until you play with Chinese people and have to spend every round explaining Maury Povich, Aaron … Continue reading →

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Huahai

Posted on December 31, 2014 by d4vid

This is the street I just trudged down for 45 minutes in the freezing cold. The vanishing point is about a third of the way to the small expat party I was walking home from. A taxi, a taxi, my … Continue reading →

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