Words Fail Me

My Mandarin teacher and her husband lived in Japan for several years as he studied at a university.  Their daughter is in second grade now and attend the Shanghai Japanese School, an elementary school which teaches classes entirely in Japanese.  I was invited to attend the school’s 3oth anniversary 运动会.  The day alternates between sporting events and elaborate dance numbers.

And anyone who knows me well knows how much I love sports.

Note the faces (Earth, panda, cat, etc.) hanging on the banner over the entrance.  They came back to haunt me later.
Each grade, 1st through 6th, got to design their own t-shirt.  This is the 2nd grader’s shirt which skirts international copyright laws.  One of the other grades tried a little too hard with their English slogan.
For the opening ceremony, all 1300 students gathered on the field.  Half of each grades’ class was assigned to the White Team and the other half was assigned to the Red Team.  The wore baseball caps (with chin straps) to identify which team they belonged to.  At the end of the day, the total of each event determined which team won overall.  Instead of “cheerleaders” each team had a crew of pseudo-samurai and drummers which would rally their team.  (I was immediately struck by the enthusiasm of the White Team’s cheers — and the quality of their drummers — that the White Team was destined to win the day.)
All of the students did a serious of stretches & calisthenics to the tune of “Hey Mickey”.  (I couldn’t help but note that this was the same song that the girls at the Hooters by work dance to.)  The first of the competitions was this wacky game where six students would be randomly assigned to a line with some sort of obstacle:  somersault, balance beam, vault, hurdle, running back and forth between two cones, or a just running straight.  There were many train wrecks.  (Later in the day, however, when the first graders attempted a tamer version of the same event, it was ridiculously cute.)
Here are some kids running out onto the field to the tune of Disney’s “Main Str. Electrical Parade.”  The second graders were divided into four quadrants, two per team.  They attempted to throw their color’s sock puppet things across the the competing teams and clear their competitors sock puppets from theirs.  The sock puppets were then weighed, determining the winner.
An older grade gave an elaborate Japanese martial arts-inflected performance.  In a variation of “chicken fighting” that we’d play in pools back in So Cal, teams would lift one team member up and they would try to remove their competitors’ caps.  I referred to this game as “De-cap-itation” but my Mandarin teacher didn’t laugh.
I thought this opening to a dance number looked like the aftermath of some cult happening, but I decided not to tell my Mandarin teacher.  Luckily, they all jumped up and started waving flags around.
It was hard to capture this event:  hundreds of students in a giant tug-of-war.  The 2nd graders did a charming, if loosely choreographed, dance with flags.
For the “halftime show” there were Japanese-style mascots for each grade dancing.  I couldn’t help of think of John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight segment.  Okay, this one flat out looked like a marijuana leaf.  My Mandarin teacher claimed that she thought it was “kelp” but I’m not buying it.
One grade’s sporting event was trying to throw balls into a basket.  They all sucked, but it was adorable.  Another grade’s event was flipping over circles to match their team’s color, like some hastily-designed version of the board game Othello.
This musical number with drums was pretty good.  In yet another variation of the “pillage your competitor’s resources” game, this one involved dragging a long pole to each team’s side.
One grade’s performance was series of elaborate yoga & acrobatic moves.  This one is called the “Human Centipede.”  I assumed.
Overall, it was quite impressive.  At the end of the day, I was proven wrong and the Red Team narrowly defeated the White Team.  The Red Team marked their victory by leaving my white skin badly sunburned.  (Yes, I wore sunblock.  Yes, I reapplied.)
I was truly impressed by the amount of work all of the students devoted to all their competitions and performances.  And I didn’t see a single student cry — from injury or disappointment — all day.  Truly impressed.