Moppets

Posted on January 28, 2015 by d4vid

IMG_0095-2.JPGCan’t see this creepy ad without thinking of them as the Danish equivalent of Dr. Girlfriend’s Murderous Moppets.

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Extras

Posted on January 28, 2015 by d4vid

Back in his absurdist 1990s period, Louis C.K. had a sublime joke:

“Have you ever seen someone you don’t know?  Again?  It’s like God ran out of extras in the movie of your life.”

The premise being that the chance of running in to someone random in a megalopolis like New York a second time is so vanishingly thin that it would require a mistake of Biblical proportion for it to happen.

A few days ago on the subway, I saw a woman near tears.  Trembling chin.  Hand over face.  Unmistakably distraught.  We both got off at the Changshu Road station.  I caught up with her and I asked her if she was all right.  She replied, in a thick French accent, “Not really.  But I will be okay.”  I wished her a better evening.  She put her hand to her heart, nodded, and walked away.

I doubt I will ever see her again.  I hope she’s well.  I really do.

Also, Louis C.K. has a new standup special available on his website and about a third of his new act is back to his old, absurdist style.

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Hazardous

Posted on January 25, 2015 by d4vid

hazardous
Ridiculous.

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Portmanteau

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

Can we clear the air? No, seriously, can we clear the fucking air?

Shanghai is on the sea.  (The city’s name literally means “Upon-the-Sea.”)  Just like Los Angeles.  In many ways, the smog reminds me of growing up in L.A. in the 1970s.  Brown air.  Lungs hurting when you run on the playground.

People often forget that the word “smog” is a portmanteau of “smoke” and “fog”.  (The proper linguistic term is “blend” but portmanteau — from the French, meaning “carry” and “coat” for luggage with two compartments, was coined by Lewis Carroll for his neologisms in the poem “Jabberwocky” in Alice Through the Looking Glass.  Anyone who knows me from back in elementary school — I’m looking at you, Eric Pokorny! — knows my affection for that poem.)

All that aside, the air quality index in Shanghai (in winter, at least, when the poor burn coal for heat) is horrendous.  Depending on the wind, it can be even worse than the notoriously bad air quality in Beijing.

But let’s be fair.  China is going through its Industrial Revolution, much as Victorian England did.  But that doesn’t mean that often times — wearing my London Fog overcoat in the “London fog pea soup” — I don’t, from time to time, find myself navigating prostitutes like Jack the Ripper did.

IMG_0093.JPG

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Deaf

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

The highlight of my visit to the Shanghai Bookstore was noticing two kids signing to each other in Chinese sign language. I saw that one — the older brother, perhaps? — was wearing earbuds, but the other one — the younger sister, I assume — wasn’t. I spotted them on the seventh floor but caught up with the sister on the fifth floor. This was my attempt as speaking Mandarin (in case that would help her read my lips) and signing in ASL (in case any of the signs in American Sign Language were similar enough to Chinese Sign Language for her to understand.):

Mandarin 请问 我是美国人 我知道美国手说 你明白我?
ASL Excuse me I am American I know American Sign Language You understand me?

Just like in America, she seemed super happy that I could sign at all! In my (mangled) Mandarin and (alien) ASL, it did seem that we had a few signs that she understood — “sign” and “America” and “China” — so I’m counting the whole conversation as a success.

I’m going to make a point of learning some Chinese Sign Language.

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Cryptanalysis

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

IMG_0089.JPGCCTV are the state-run television channels here in China.  Because of the Mandarin/Cantonese split I’ve discussed, they are always subtitled in Simplified Chinese.  I watch quite a bit of CCTV9 because it’s the documentary network.

I’ve watched documentaries on…

  • The Indian Ocean Tsunami
  • MGM Studios
  • The Silk Road
  • Bruce Lee
  • Madagascar
  • The Hollywood Silent Era
  • Black Holes

Documentaries are great because I usually have enough of a grasp of the subject matter to pick things out of the subtitles.  For example, I quickly figured out that 黑洞 was “black hole” and 重力 was “gravity” just by context and word frequency.

In a lot of ways, it’s like I’m trying to learn Chinese by cryptanalysis.  (And, no, I haven’t seen The Imitation Game yet.  It isn’t being released here as World War II and homosexuality aren’t a couple of China’s favorite things.)

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Tron

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

IMG_0071.JPGThe Yan’an Elevated Road as seen from out my window at night.

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Rickrolled

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

At work this week, the Technology group had a party to celebrate the New Year (as it’s about halfway between the Western New Year and Chinese New Year.)  It was an American-style open-an-anonymous-gift-or-steal-from-someone-else gift exchange.  Surely you remember The Office episode.IMG_0070.JPGThis picture captures the moment when my Chinese coworker Kevin opened my gift.  He’s holding it up to my American coworker Carol because he doesn’t understand why he’s just received a “Rick Astley Greatest Hits” CD with the words “Consider yourself rickrolled” written on it.

(Special thanks to Elizabeth!)

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Bookstore

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

A coworker told me there were lots of bookstores along Fuzhou Road, so yesterday I went up there to check it out.  The biggest — with the catchy name “Shanghai Bookstore” — is seven floors high and was as packed on a Saturday as any Barnes & Noble on Christmas Eve.  They had everything.IMG_0073.JPGChrist, I really hope they edited out the Mickey Rooney bits.IMG_0076.JPGCan’t escape Bono.  Anywhere.IMG_0078.JPGHmmm, should I try to teach my Introduction to Python class in Mandarin someday?  Challenge accepted!IMG_0079.JPGShould have used a polarizer to get rid of the reflection of that tubby guy in the picture.  It’s a Francis Bacon quote (which I don’t know and can’t find) about books crossing the sea of time.  I had to Google Translate it character by character.IMG_0075.JPGThey’re more popular than Confucius now.  (Try it in a Liverpudlian accent.)IMG_0074.JPGI’m buying a copy for every executive at ODW.

But this was my favorite find…IMG_0087.JPGOMG OMG OMG it has chapters on “cultural topics” like “Magic & Fantasy”:IMG_0086.JPG

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Dearth

Posted on January 24, 2015 by d4vid

IMG_0085.JPGThere is a distinct dearth of blondes in this country.

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Hypothesis

Posted on January 23, 2015 by d4vid

IMG_0072.JPGOne’s fluency in Italian (and American Sign Language) improves with alcohol. One’s fluency in Chinese, however, worsens.

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Bloodbath

Posted on January 23, 2015 by d4vid

Dark day at DreamWorks. Darkest in my thirteen years there.

My thoughts are with all my friends and colleagues, but especially those up at PDI.

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Futurama

Posted on January 22, 2015 by d4vid

The font on this glowing keyboard at work looks like something out of 1980s-era Tomorrowland.IMG_0069.JPG

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Oscar

Posted on January 16, 2015 by d4vid

My friend and ODW colleague Nafees found out this week that he’s receiving his second(!) technical achievement Academy Award.  To celebrate, we all went out to a dinner last night.  The restaurant’s cuisine was from the far western Chinese province of 新疆 (Xīnjiāng or “New Frontier” though not to be confused with Justice League: New Frontier as I know some of you are wont to do.)  You may know this region for its Uyghur ethnic group, a Muslim population which is often violently at odds with the People’s Republic and it’s predominantly Han ethnic population.

The influence of the Middle East via the Silk Road can be seen in the food — no pork, lots of lamb, tons of spices — which was absolutely delicious.  Many of us also enjoyed black beer, which is a Xīnjiāng region stout.

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Alien

Posted on January 16, 2015 by d4vid

To quote Sting, “I’m an alien / I’m a legal alien”IMG_0068.JPGFinally received my employment and residency permit this week. It appears that the People’s Republic of China has decided to officially render my name as 杨戴维 (Yáng Dàiwéi) which, if I’m not mistaken, literally translates to “Little-Know-It-All Who Won’t Shut Her Maize Hole.”

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