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Made a quick pilgrimage to
Considering the size of the Graceland museum complex across the street, I was struck by the modest size of the mansion itself.
Each visitor is loaned a heavily-rubberized iPad with a neck strap which has a virtual tour (narrated by John Stamos, naturally) as you physically tour the mansion.
Elvis had all the money in the world. But you can’t buy taste.




The den immediately made me think of Pin’s Mom’s house in
…whereas the three televisions in the basement cocktail lounge made me think of 
The cringing continued.
Wood paneling?
Green carpet on the hallway walls and ceiling? This dude has been held up as a style icon for more than half a century!

In the backyard, in the office where Elvis’s father Vernon conducted business, we transition from kitsch to banality.
I found his horse enclosure unexpectedly endearing. He was just a country boy, at a fundamental level.
The mansion as seen from the backyard.
Only with these invoices did it come into focus just how much money he had spent on all his gaudy furnishings.


I fully expected Elvis to have a wallet that said “Bad Motherfucker” on it.
Elvis was obsessed with law enforcement.
They had on display Elvis’s infamous 
Finally in the backyard, we transition from the banal to the outlandish.
The dude built a gym with a racquetball court.


The Graceland pool was no bigger than any of thousands of others in backyards throughout Camelot Era suburbia.
Finally, at the end of the tour, is the “Mediation Garden”…
…which is the gravesite.
I stood before Elvis’s grave and paid homage, just like U2 and Spın̈al Tap before me.

In a sleepy corner of the Graceland museum
I guess I never grokked
…to the plausible-but-silly-sounding…
…to the are-you-fucking-kidding-me-that-has-got-to-be-a-joke-right?
Visited 

In a section devoted to his international celebrity, discovered that his name in Chinese is 猫王 (Māo Wáng, literally “Cat King”.)

So strange to think about an era where you would need a map to know the range of a radio tower in order to know how far & where you were broadcasting.


Seeing this television in the archives, a certain Itchy & Scratch cartoon suddenly made sense.



I’m starting a rumor that no only is Elvis alive, but he’s actually a wildly successful Mary Kay representative.
My cousin Sean just moved to Nashville a couple months ago. He’s created a fantastic studio space in the attic of the place he and his friend are renting. Listened to some of his stuff and he’s doing great engineering work. Plus, it warms my heart to see my old Strat on his guitar rack.
Like Missionary Ridge, 


I can’t imagine fighting my way up the steep sides of this mountain. It’s just inconceivable.









Commanding from 

This was the command post that 
Visited the
Named after the creek that runs through the area…
…the
One of my
Thomas’s valor earned him the nickname “The Rock of Chickamauga”.
As I had expected, the Shoney’s staff was unamused by my repeated Rick & Morty references. But, hey, this trip hasn’t been an entire waste of time. Job opportunity!
Ate dinner at a place called Sticky Fingers that claimed to be the best BBQ ribs in Chattanooga. I ordered the sampler so I could try the dry rub, spicy, sweet, and regular. Couldn’t finish them all in one sitting. (I’ve settled on the dry rub as my favorite, going forward.)
After leaving the