Burbank

My 老家 (“hometown” or literally “old family”.)

A town so dull that it was named not after semi-famous naturalist Luther Burbank but after not-at-all famous dentist David Burbank. 

A town so dull that comedian Taylor Negron once quipped “Burbank makes Glendale look like Berlin in the 30s.”

A town so dull that in high school we used to go to the Holiday Inn at night and ride the elevators for fun.  (Seriously.  I even wrote that into my first solo screenplay.)

So where in all of L.A. did I decide to spend my week here? Look at those inexplicable fiberglass doe-eyes does.  Just look at them.

But this was the view out my 18th floor window at Golden Hour: That’s not a gradient filter.  That’s the actual blue sky. 

You can even see cross-town rival Burbank High School’s giant “B” emblazoned on the hill. Fuck those guys.